Labels: news, sanctus1, TV

This is a last call for Sanctus 1's first ever pet service this weekend.

We'll be holding a mass for mammals so pet owners can pray healing on their puppies, budgies and iguanas.

Feel free to dress your pets in anyway you want. We think baby outfits will be popular, as will clown costumes.

We'll erect an image of a saint outside Nexus, so all you need to do is queue with your pets on a lead and receive an animal blessing as you pass the saint.

Of course, this is just silly. No-one would ever really do this.

Would they?

Labels: dogs with flowers in their hair, news, pets

"There are beaches that collect mostly rights and other beaches that collect
mostly lefts.

"The winds or the currents sort out left and right footwear."

Apparently true. This is the Tim Burton-esque news that three right feet have been washed onto shore in Canada.

Of course, this forever spoils the Footprints poem:

"Lord, during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need you most, you leave me."

God whispered, "My precious child... When you saw only one set of footprints, that was us hopping. I couldn't find a left shoe anywhere."

With apologies to the legendary Tim Vine who has a whole routine around Footprints that will have you laughing your socks off.

As it were.

Labels: feet, news, nonsense

At Sanctus 1 this week, our groups looked at four news stories, and asked probing* questions about the media's attitude to religion.

The stories were:

- Shambo the TB-infected bull and the battle by Welsh Hindus to save the sacred animal;

- The Roman Catholic archdiocese of Los Angeles paying out hundreds of millions of pounds to sexual abuse victims;

- A teenager losing her fight to wear a saving-sex-for-marriage ring in school;

- A gay youth worker winning a tribunal case against the Church Of England.

Personally, I'm glad the catholics are paying out to the poor victims. I'm delighted the youth worker has exposed the church's appalling attitude to gay people. I'm pleased the teenager has lost her "right" to flout school policy. I think I'm happy about Shambo being saved, but then again I'm not a farmer.

However, my fellow Sanctimonian and occasional train buddy Myn made a good point when we were chatting about this yesterday: Why, oh why, oh why are all the Christian stories to do with sex?

Have we not enlightened ourselves? Are we still so nervous as a religion about the Bible and, um, you know, naughty stuff? Is it safe yet for me to remove my chastity belt?

*no innuendo intended, honest

Labels: bible, news, sex

Baptists have come under fire from God, as you can see in this rather startling piccie.

Lightning zapped the steeple of the First Mount Olive Free Willy Baptist Church earlier this week. Well, okay, it's 'Free Will' not 'Free Willy' but I think the latter is funnier and I will be writing to tell them so.

Bishop Oscar E Brown was inside the building when God struck. "We heard a thump, but we didn't think anything of it." He continued his meeting inside the church while the steeple flamed like the baby from The Incredibles.

Police were hunting for a murderer nearby (this is America remember), but broke off to warn people inside the church of their impending doom. "Some church members peeked from windows and looked at us as if we were a bunch of nuts trying to break in," said one officer.

The steeple collapsed into the church (true). The whole building exploded while the congregation and a plucky dog jumped to safety just in the nick of time (false).

So next time you are condemning someone to burn in hell, just remember there are God-fearing Christians burning in Baltimore too.

Labels: fire, news, photo

Just an update on an oh-so-last-month story that some who visit here regularly might be interested in - Manchester Evening News reported on Friday that Sony has said "sorry" to the cathedral for its use in a video game...


On a slight aside, I do find it interesting to see which stories live on in the media for a long time, which get followed up some time later, and which get quietly forgotten.


technorati tag: manchester cathedral, sony

Labels: Manchester Cathedral, news

100 days.

We wait for news (which you used to bring us).
We sign petitions, we lobby, we hold vigils, we blog.
We wait in hope.





technorati tag: alan johnston

Labels: news

This just landed in our inboxes at work courtesy of a tabloid journalist looking for story-fodder...
“Are you, or do you know, Mr or Mrs Average? We are looking for someone who can answer yes to most of the questions below, and do a feature with them asking them their views about the world etc…

Do you know the words to God Save the Queen (first verse and chorus)?
Are you married with two children?
Do you own your own home, worth approx £190-210k?
Do you have more than 80 contacts on your mobile phone?
Do you work over 40 hours a week?
Do you own a Ford Fiesta?
Do you have 14 close friends?
Do you consider yourself working class?
Are you repaying debts or loans totaling more than £3,000 (excluding mortgage)?
Does your home contain one of the Harry Potter books?
Do you have three or more TVs in your house?
Do you go to the toilet six times a day?
Do you sleep approximately seven hours a night?
Do you think you're a good driver?
Do you do less than 30 minutes sport/continuous exercise per week?
Do you know how to cook at least four meals, including spaghetti bolognaise?
Do you drink at least three cups of tea a day?
On average, do you one foreign holiday a year?
Does your daily commute to work take 20-30 minutes (one-way)?
Do you believe in God?”

And thus I was left staring slightly open mouthed at the screen...

Average? How exactly? And as average as whom - your peers, our parents, the rest of the UK? How can that list be representative of the national average person – living up to your working-class roots by owning a £200k house, driving 25 minutes to your 8 till 6 job in your Fiesta, and coming home to spag bol cooked by your partner (eaten with your two kids), and a chapter of Harry Potter before your 7 hours kip? Squash on Tuesday, beers on Friday, church on Sunday, do it all again next week. Depressing really – a bit like that new Alpha ad…

Think hard now – do you know ANYONE who is all those things, let alone that person being you? (If so, and for some inexplicable reason you do want to take part, I still have the journo’s email!)

And yes, at the risk of starting another blog/ email meme, have a look down that list and see what you can answer yes to… Might tell you something about yourself, or indeed something about that list and our national priorities and interests.

I don’t know if I find it comforting (an affirmation of my place in the national collective identity) or worrying (an affirmation of the fact that I’m not so different to everyone else) that I answered yes to 14 of these, and no to 6. And no I’m not telling you which...

technorati tag: mr and mrs average, normal

Labels: news

To Our Own Correspondent, Alan: "For more than 50 years on this programme, the news has been broadcast from our own correspondents. Today - with apologies to you - I want to send a message to one of our own. Day 66 of Alan Johnston's captivity is also his 45th birthday. Most likely there will be no candles or cake. But my hope is that somewhere, somehow, Alan will be able to listen. His family, his friends, his colleagues all miss him. We want him home. Our birthday wish is his immediate release. Happy birthday Alan."

(Jon Williams, World Editor, BBC News, Jerusalem)


technorati tag: alan johnston

Labels: news

Another way to show that you haven't forgotten Alan Johnston's abduction - 64 days today since he vanished - the Media Guardian site reports:

The BBC's kidnapped Gaza correspondent Alan Johnston turns 45 on Thursday and the corporation has issued an address for people who want to send birthday cards as a show of support. Johnston has not been seen since he was seized at gunpoint in Gaza City on March 12.
Last week, he was named broadcasting journalist of the year at the annual London Press Club awards, where the BBC director general, Mark Thompson, paid tribute to Johnston and the courage of his family. Readers who wish to send cards should post them to the World Affairs Unit, Room 410SE, BBC Bush House, Strand, London, WC2B 4PH.


technorati tag: alan johnston

Labels: justice, news

Well, no-one saw that coming!...

Super, we get a new massive casino in a part of town where the main recreational opportunities already involve spending money that many don't have - Gala and Mecca hang your heads.

A further headache for GA? A disatrous planning decision? A money-making, soul-sucking enterprise? An employment opportunity? A regeneration trigger?

Tellingly, the Casino Advisory Panel said that "the city [Manchester] has the greatest need in terms of multiple deprivation of all the proposals that were before us." And this was a *good* reason to award it?...


technorati tag: super casino, gambling, manchester

Labels: manchester, news

At last, there are stories of hope and redemption and justice coming out of New Orleans – not enough, to be sure, but some.

Today, we can celebrate the birth of a son.

After Katrina hit the city, the waters had subsided slightly and the worst danger had passed, the director of an IVF clinic returned by boat with the army to try to save as many frozen embryos as he could. And then he started the painstaking process of tracking down the patients through the media and over the internet…

Rebekah and Glen Markham were one such couple. Nine months ago, the doctors implanted one of those rescued embryos, and now Rebekah and Glen (who already have one son by IVF) are celebrating the birth of their second son.

His name? Noah.


technorati tag: hurricane katrina, IVF

Labels: news